Thursday, October 23, 2014

Vodka will you marry me?

Dear Vodka,

Where have you been my whole life? If I had not wasted so many years in pointless relationships with other alcoholic beverages, we could have started this love affair soo much earlier. I should have been stronger, I should have tried harder. I should have never judged a drink by it's bottle. How shallow of me.

I'll admit it was not love at first taste, but that was not your fault. You had no choice in the partner you were mixed with. I'm so happy you never held that against me. Even when I was unfaithful and cheated on you with your friends, Jack and Crown. Oh and that one time I went slumming with Tequila Rose.  There was a point in my life when I was an alcohol slut. I can't even remember half the brands I hoe'd around with. I'm not proud of it.

I know they say once a cheater always a cheater, please know that is not the case with me.  I now know my true love for you and all that you do. You make me happy when I'm sad. You give me excitement when I'm bored. You calm me when I'm angry. You give me confidence when I'm shy. I would love to say you make me a better dancer, but we both know I need absolutely no help in that department.  

You taste great with almost anything. Not many of your friends have your same skills. You're a dime!!! You're not the needy kind and understand when I need space. You always have my back and have no problem hiding in a water bottle. We both know what would happen if our secret love affair became public. You make dealing with my hubs when he's on his man rag a little more tolerable. 

 Your two best qualities, the reason you've stole my heart. You make sex wild and crazy. You bring out my inner freak and never make me feel bad in the morning. 

So for all that you do, I love you. 

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